Book Excerpts

Excerpt from the Introduction, page XXXIV

 

This book is not about becoming rich or successful in the traditional sense that Western civilization intends to convince us. There’s nothing wrong with money and great careers. Still, there is more to life than that. This book is about you living your life—the life that you did intend to live before embarking in this physical experience—and how it affects the rest of this planet. Whatever shape it was, you decided. This is not about easy schemes; this is about deeper schemes. Only you will know what your deeper scheme is, and when you have the courage to follow it, then you will have the experience of feeling truly successful.

 

 

Excerpt from Page 43

The Unconscious Generates and Stores Our Emotions

This concept is easy to understand. Notice that you cannot control when you are going to feel an emotion or not. Don’t confuse controlling with repression. Simply because you repressed an emotion, that does not mean that you did not have it. You cannot say, “Today, I will not feel the emotion of fear.” It does not work like that. You simply feel as you go through the events in your life. You, the conscious, have no control over the generation of emotions. Therefore they can only be coming from our unconscious.

What is important is that you understand that the unconscious stores emotions. As you will see, these stored emotions are going to be the ones that you will feel when you react to circumstances in your life similar to those that you have experienced before. They will control your behavior by association.

In the next section, where I go deep into the mechanisms of the unconscious, I will expand on this and the next characteristic. Thus, this is just a short introduction to them here.

The Unconscious Stores All the Programs That Dictate Our Behaviors

A program is the basic structure in the mind that the unconscious uses to determine behavior.

There are millions and millions of them. You, the conscious, may be aware of some of them. Still, they act from the unconscious. I will show now the structure of these programs and how specifically they operate.

 

Excerpt from Page 66 to page 69

Basic Example Nowadays

Let’s run through a hypothetical example, but perfectly typical in a present-day family. Of course we’re oversimplifying, yet it’s clear enough that you get the idea.

A Girl Loved by Her Parents

Our family has a girl under ten years of age. Both parents show their love and affection to her. As a result of that experience, she will have a program in her unconscious that associates parents with the concept of love. This, of course, is a program with a positive emotion that will make her feel loved, appreciated, and valued. This program will add to her self-esteem.

With a Hard-working Dad

On the other hand, her dad works very hard. It is not uncommon that he arrives late at night from his job. And after a long day at work, she can see very clearly that he is tired. As the result of this experience with her dad, her unconscious will create a program like, “life is hard work” or “in order to succeed, you have to work hard.” This program is associated with a negative emotion. She sees how tired he arrives at home. Plus, her dad says things like, “I can’t wait for the weekend,” so that he can relax a little bit. That reinforces the program even more. She will grow seeing life as such: you have to work hard, life is not easy, and money is tough to get. From these experiences, all kind of different programs arise. And she will see life through these lenses. Because this program is associated with a negative emotion, it will limit her.

To give you an example, let’s say someone offers her (as an adult now) a great job opportunity. It’s a job where, without having to work that hard, she could make a very good living with comfortable and flexible hours. (Here, you can check yourself. How do you feel about this last sentence? Is it possible to have something like that? How easy do you think you can find yourself in such a job? Whatever the answer, that is your programming.) Because of her programming, she will be suspicious of that offer. “Sounds too good to be true.” She may not even consider it and simply reject it. She will miss opportunities in her life because of that negative (limiting) program.

And Great Friends

Continuing with our little girl, she gets along very well with her friends. She is outgoing and connects well with others. You will see another very important implication of the different concepts I mentioned earlier. The unconscious is a machine, and it does not reason. It assimilates every experience as rules of behavior. There is no distinction between one type of experience or another—everything is assimilated. For this case, her unconscious will create a program (among many others) that will translate as “I connect very well with the others.” Notice that something interesting is happening here. This program
will determine not only how she feels with others but also, how she feels about herself. It is part of her self-image.

The programs in your unconscious form the basis of your identity.

How you see yourself is also the result of your experiences and interactions in life. They result in programs that will form the mosaic of how you see yourself. There are some other factors, which I will talk about later, that also form part of your self-image. These also translate into programs.

Mom’s Comments while She Is Sick

Let me give you another instance that’s a little more drastic but perfectly real about self-image. Let’s say that our little girl could not go to school because she is ill. She is in her room in bed. While she is resting, her mom, just across that room, is talking to a friend of hers. The conversation revolves about her daughter’s illness. The mom tells her friend how her dad (the little girl’s grandfather) also had that illness, and how he suffered so much for the rest of his life as a result of that particular disease. The little girl hears that comment. Remember, she has not developed her critical thinking (reasoning). That comment will go straight into her unconscious with the implication that she will suffer the rest of her life because of the illness. “I am a sickly person” will be the program in her unconscious. If she doesn’t communicate this to her mom, who has the power to change her perception, she will start seeing herself as such from then on. That becomes part of her self-image. Because it is a very limiting program, she will start avoiding any physical activities, and she will feel shy, anxious, and more. It could have been very well the case that in her grandfather’s time, there were no medical treatments for that illness, whereas in her present time there are. It does not matter—now she has been programmed, and that is how she sees herself. You may think that I am exaggerating, yet this and similar events happen all the time.

She Wants to Belong to the Theater Group at School

In school, our little girl wants to become part of the theater group in her class. Unfortunately, in the end, her teacher does not pick her to be part of the group. A classmate of hers makes the comment that the teacher said she was not good enough for the part. How is she going to perceive this experience? Negatively, needless to say. “Life is unfair” could very well be the program that her unconscious installs. Or the classic “I am not good enough.” This last one is present in all humans to greater or lesser degrees. It’s one of the most pervasive programs we carry, with so much detriment in our lives.

She Brings the Grades from School

Here’s one more case that will complete this illustration and give you a good idea about how your personality formed. The girl brings home her grades from school. It turns out that she did very well in all subjects except drawing, which was not as good as the others. It was not necessarily a bad grade, but it was not as good as the others. The parents react by saying, “What happened with drawing? Are you having problems with it? How come the grade was not as good as the others? Should we get you a tutor?”

What impression will she get from all these questions? Most likely it’s “there is a problem here. This should not have happened. Otherwise, they would not keep asking so much about drawing.” The impression within her easily translates as “I am not good at drawing.” This is now how she sees herself. It could be very well that she is not that interested in drawing; her dreams are about becoming an Olympic athlete. Drawing is not her preference, and so it is natural that she did not perform that well in that subject. The issue with this little girl is that she created a negative self image out of this experience because the parents created this expectation that she must perform equally well in all areas. It is very different to say, “I am not interested in drawing.” That is a statement of preference. That
is what differentiates all of us, what gives richness to the human life. And indeed, because she would not be very interested in drawing, she would not be performing that well doing it. That is fine; nothing wrong with that. Yet another thing is to say, “I am not good at drawing.” This implies “I have a deficiency, and there is something wrong with me.” The same event can be seen from very different perspectives. The difference in perspective will make the difference between high self-esteem and low self-esteem. It becomes identity. “I am not good at drawing” has a negative emotion associated with it. “I am not interested in drawing” does not. Every time you say anything about yourself with the terms “I am not good at …” it means you have a negative, limiting program in your unconscious that is affecting your self-esteem and your experiences in life.

 

Excerpt from Page 115 to page 118

An Outdated Justice System

With the results that are right in front of all of us, what an irony that we have created a society full of destructive environments in which individuals are born, and which then punishes them if they don’t behave properly. And how does it do that? By incarceration. In many societies, we even condemn people to death. Essentially, it’s the same method that we have been using for thousands of years. What our system does is to put people in jail for an amount of time so that they “learn their lesson.” Afterward, we open the door with the great expectation that now they are going to behave. I hope you now realize the absurdity of this way of thinking and operating. It’s ignorant in all respects to how the human mind works, and to the human condition. The individual saw no other way of doing things because that is what he learned from the environment in which he grew up. And now he is punished. How is jail time going to change the programs? How are the big emotional batteries—charged with anger, frustration, impotence—going to be discharged? At the very least, the emotions need to be processed if you want to see a real change in the behavior of the individual. Instead, what ends up happening is that the punishment creates yet another program with an even bigger emotional battery. This program restrains (or so we hope) all the other programs that made the individual do the crime. The end result is an individual with an even bigger internal struggle of programs. Think of the original inner conflicts, which big enough to make them do the crimes that they did. Even if, after jail time, this person is now able to behave, this will be a tormented person for the rest of his life. And that is how our system of justice works.

The results? I am transcribing here what you find in the United States National Institute of Justice,51 in its Recidivism page.

Bureau of Justice Statistics studies have found high rates of recidivism among released prisoners. One study tracked 404,638 prisoners in 30 states after their release from prison in 2005. The researchers found that:

• Within three years of release, about two-thirds (67.8 percent) of released prisoners were rearrested.
• Within five years of release, about three-quarters (76.6 percent) of released prisoners were rearrested.
• Of those prisoners who were rearrested, more than half (56.7 percent) were arrested by the end of the first year.
• Property offenders were the most likely to be rearrested, with 82.1 percent of released property offenders arrested for a new crime compared with 76.9 percent of drug offenders, 73.6 percent of public order offenders and 71.3 percent of violent offenders.

The statistics speak (or I should say scream) for themselves. The few who do not misbehave again will live conflicted and repressed lives, as I explained. And just an insignificant, few of them genuinely transform into more positive states of being.

An Emotionally Archaic Civilization

In his book Pre-parenting: Nurturing Your Child from Conception,52 Thomas R. Verny talks about how so many neurobiologists have tried to find a genetic marker in violent criminals. I quote directly from his book (emphasis added by me).53

The search for this marker in blood, spinal fluid, and DNA has been thorough, but fruitless. While some violent criminals do suffer some abnormalities, scientists have never been able to detect a consistent difference in the genes. Instead, the only reliable marker for violence in adulthood has turned out to be early exposure to violence and neglect. Abused children often become abusers, and young victims of violence are at risk of becoming violent offenders themselves. In aggregate, data from hundreds of studies now solidly document the intergenerational transmission of violence and abuse.

Programs are being passed from generation to generation. You now have a very clear understanding of the unconscious mechanisms in our minds behind that transmission. We may have advanced technologically speaking, but our civilization is emotionally archaic. This circle of society’s low emotional intelligence is completed by the victims of the crimes that these people commit. When a person gets robbed, or her children are attacked, or a friend or relative is killed, these events create traumas in them, programs with highly charged emotional batteries. More than anything, and understandably so, the only thing that people will want is that the perpetrators rot in jail, to say the least. These unprocessed programs will become the new filters through which they will see life and make decisions. Anyone who has suffered any negative significant emotional event needs to reprocess it with a pertinent support person. Otherwise, these programs will be making their own decisions for them.

As an example, we know that one of the hardest experiences for parents is to lose a child to murder. Most likely the parents will be the first ones to line up behind a government candidate whose agenda is to incarcerate anyone who breaks the law with maximum penalty times. Here you can see so clearly how these programs rob us from true free will. Instead of coming together and working constructively to find real solutions to our social problems, we keep making decisions based on vengeance, fear, or any other unprocessed emotion. With the added social stigma of doing emotional work, they remain hurt and reactive to these events for the rest of their lives. Do we need to limit the freedom of people who are doing harm? Yes, of course. However, that should only be the very first step of a whole process of re-empowering these individuals so that they can believe in their own abilities and be able to thrive in life. Plus, we need to have social programs that give them opportunities of reinsertion into society after they have served jail terms. If you take a look at the personal history of the jail population, what type of stories do you think you will hear? These people, in the inner reality of their minds, saw no other way to come ahead in life. Otherwise, they would have acted differently. I hope that with the information that I am giving in this book, not only will you have more understanding and empathy for these individuals, but you’ll also have more wisdom to determine what to do with them as part of the society in which we live.

If you think that that is “their problem” and “Why should I have to pay for these social programs?” just look around how we live. Look at our society: everything is built based on fear and distrust. All our infrastructure, buildings, homes, and cars, are built with all kinds of security locks and alarms. There are security mechanisms for electronic accounts and identity protection. You are constantly making sure that your car is locked, that you are not going to be robbed, and that your children are safe. Our societal environment has created all these programs in each of us, and they generate stress in every aspect of our lives. For those living in conditions of abundance, be grateful, but also be consciously involved in contributing to the well-being of those who are not. They will affect your life one way or another, sooner or later. It is in your self-interest that everybody lives and grows in a harmonious environment. Even from a selfish perspective, there will be fewer chances that you will be robbed.